on eastern toy soldiers
an ugly situation is festering in the eastern part of town
its history, like all histories, is long, complicated and littered with the crimes and misdemeanours of all concerned
the latter is an inarguable truth, assuming of course that you're approaching this history as an objective journalist, rather than a protagonist
if you are a protagonist though, you're not likely to be reading this, nor are you likely to be concerned with the finer points of justice and morality
you're probably too busy kicking sand in your enemy's eye, spitting in his lunch and stealing his toy soldiers to worry about such matters
for justice, morality, ethics... hell, let's use a phrase for convenience - ALL THOSE THINGS THAT MAKE US HUMAN AND DIFFERENTIATE US FROM BEASTS - they're all put on hold when the possession of toy soldiers or rights to the sandbox are at stake
the following dispatch has been sent to us by Ginsey, our correspondent in the east side of town
he is currently holed up in a hotel - in room1004, of course - overlooking the theatre of operations; a small schoolyard, with a sandbox, some swings and the like, and a few grubby little boys playing war
HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
(Ambrose Bierce)
you may wonder where the head teacher is during all this
well, he's there on the yard alright, as always, but his hands are kinda tied
you see, this school is kinda run by the pupils
not by all of them - it's not a democracy, hell no - just by a small few, with rich daddies
the problem is, you see, the school is rotten to the core, and has been for a long time
the head teacher (the current one and all previous ones, since this school system was set up in 1945), is there at the whim of the more powerful, senior students, many of whom have no respect for the head teacher or his rulings
the head boy, for example, doesn't even pay his school fees anymore
he also ignores the system when its rules don't suit
the head teacher can't act on this, because, well, without a semblance of support from the head boy, no one would take him seriously
so the head teacher is in this weird situation – he can’t admit that the head boy is out of control and acting like a prig and essentially running the school, because then the head teacher would officially serve no purpose, and would surely be fired…
…he can’t discipline the head boy, because his family are too powerful, and kinda scary, too…
…without the head boy occasionally and publicly saying to the head teacher, “yes, sir, you’re the boss, i take you seriously”, the head teacher would be so embarrassed he’d be forced in to action that, well, he knows he doesn’t have the power or ability to take…
…so the head teacher smiles nervously on these occasions and says “good, i’m glad you know i’m the boss" – when really he knows the head boy has his balls in a guillotine…
...the head boy lets the head teacher stay in school, mainly so he can say “look, don't ask me, ask the head teacher”
it's a situation that suits the head boy well - he can appear fair and just and like he's towing the school line, when all the while he's free to side with whatever bully that looks like garnering him the most lunch money
and since the head boy gives the best dutch rubs and wedgies in the whole yard, the bullies are just delighted to fall in line
the head teacher, despite the best of intentions then, is actually omnipresent but, good lord, IMPOTENT!?!?!?
what new hell is this?
(by the way, the head boy, has a lot to answer for in this school yard dispute... for it was he and his friends that drew the lines in the sandbox that Izzy and Paulie are fighting over... in fact, it was he and his friends that sponsored Izzy's acceptance at school in the first place, insisting that there was in fact a vacancy in Paulie's class, when clearly there wasn't... it was something to do with their guilt over what happened Izzy's extended family, i think...)
its history, like all histories, is long, complicated and littered with the crimes and misdemeanours of all concerned
the latter is an inarguable truth, assuming of course that you're approaching this history as an objective journalist, rather than a protagonist
if you are a protagonist though, you're not likely to be reading this, nor are you likely to be concerned with the finer points of justice and morality
you're probably too busy kicking sand in your enemy's eye, spitting in his lunch and stealing his toy soldiers to worry about such matters
for justice, morality, ethics... hell, let's use a phrase for convenience - ALL THOSE THINGS THAT MAKE US HUMAN AND DIFFERENTIATE US FROM BEASTS - they're all put on hold when the possession of toy soldiers or rights to the sandbox are at stake
the following dispatch has been sent to us by Ginsey, our correspondent in the east side of town
he is currently holed up in a hotel - in room1004, of course - overlooking the theatre of operations; a small schoolyard, with a sandbox, some swings and the like, and a few grubby little boys playing war
* * *
False history gets made all day, any day,
the truth of the new is never on the news
(Adrienne Rich)
life in the schoolyard had been relatively quiet, these last few weeks
there were the inevitable skirmishes one expects in that part of town; name-calling, fist-waving and arguments about the rules of schoolyard games... (more specifically, the chronic old dispute about who has or hasn't the right to play in certain areas of the yard still persists - this is perhaps the underlying issue, but it's often quite difficult to get a straight answer from children)
on occassion, the children's rough-housing has lead to the odd grazed knee or bloody nose
one particular instance that comes to mind was when the school bully, Izzy - who had recently been relatively well-behaved but still hovered about the yard like an intimidating and rabid dog - broke the peace of morning recess with an apparently unprovoked attack on a group of girls, paddling at the edge of the school paddling pool and enjoying the sunshine and some light refreshments
for no apparent reason, Izzy took to pitching large stones at the girls
when questioned, he first denied doing so, then apologised and finally said he wasn't quite sure how it happened and that he was probably aiming at someone else - the girls becoming involved was therefore "an unfortunate mistake but a near-certain result" of life in the schoolyard
mistake or not, 8 of the girls were so traumatised that they have yet to return to school
the head teacher, in fact, doesn't expect them ever to return
inexplicably, though, the head teacher took no action against Izzy on this occasion
the current “crisis” (oh those children with their funny little words) started with a daring but blatantly inflammatory manoeuvre by Paulie – a close friend and relative to most of the girls, (though there is some disagreement about whether Paulie's family are a unified body, and whether they all agree with things he does in their name… kids…)
Izzy was loitering in the schoolyard sandbox, lining up his toy soldiers and playing war, as usual
so engrossed was he in the act of lining up soldiers - provocatively, it must be said, in a part of the box where Paulie liked to play - that he failed to notice Paulie sneaking up behind him
and then came the sucker punch from the weak kid, catching the bully off-guard
while Izzy ran his toy tanks up and down the mini-dunes and made "ka-boom" and "peow-peow" sounds, (all the while flicking the odd pebble across the yard and casting furtive glances to see if the head teacher had his back turned, as usual), Paulie crept in from the rear, and pushed Izzy off balance
(it must be said that Izzy is much bigger and stronger than Paulie, so even with the element of surprise this was quite daring)
in the furore that followed, one of Izzy's toy tanks and two of his toy soldiers were trampled in to the sand
more significantly, Paulie managed to snatch one of Izzy's soldiers, unharmed, and retreat to the relative safety of his patch before Izzy could react
the reaction wasn't long in coming, however
Paulie had no sooner made it back to his side of the yard when Izzy's stones began to fall, with little regard for whether it was Paulie or his friends that got hit
many more girls fell, crying
Paulie, meanwhile, issued an ultimatum to Izzy and anyone that cared to listen
"give me back my soldiers and i'll give you back yours... oh, and while you're at it, get the fudge out of MY SANDBOX"
Izzy was in no mood to bargain though, and with stones continuing to fly overhead, he made his way in to Paulie's side of the yard for the first time in several school terms
Izzy stomped all over Paulie's toy soldiers, and one particularly large stone smashed Paulie's swing, the only one in that part of the yard
Paulie's actions now meant his friends had nothing to play on
he held firm in his resolve however – he wanted his toy soldier back at all costs (Izzy is said to have stolen hundreds over the years)
and so, for many days now, both morning and afternoon recesses have been marred with the trampling of toy soldiers and the pitching of stones
but since Izzy and Paulie generally make strategic attacks from the yard’s fringes, it's mostly the girls - innocently playing in the middle of the yard and contested sandbox - that have taken the brunt and suffered the most
dozens are not expected back at school
and Izzy still hasn't got his toy soldier back
the truth of the new is never on the news
(Adrienne Rich)
life in the schoolyard had been relatively quiet, these last few weeks
there were the inevitable skirmishes one expects in that part of town; name-calling, fist-waving and arguments about the rules of schoolyard games... (more specifically, the chronic old dispute about who has or hasn't the right to play in certain areas of the yard still persists - this is perhaps the underlying issue, but it's often quite difficult to get a straight answer from children)
on occassion, the children's rough-housing has lead to the odd grazed knee or bloody nose
one particular instance that comes to mind was when the school bully, Izzy - who had recently been relatively well-behaved but still hovered about the yard like an intimidating and rabid dog - broke the peace of morning recess with an apparently unprovoked attack on a group of girls, paddling at the edge of the school paddling pool and enjoying the sunshine and some light refreshments
for no apparent reason, Izzy took to pitching large stones at the girls
when questioned, he first denied doing so, then apologised and finally said he wasn't quite sure how it happened and that he was probably aiming at someone else - the girls becoming involved was therefore "an unfortunate mistake but a near-certain result" of life in the schoolyard
mistake or not, 8 of the girls were so traumatised that they have yet to return to school
the head teacher, in fact, doesn't expect them ever to return
inexplicably, though, the head teacher took no action against Izzy on this occasion
the current “crisis” (oh those children with their funny little words) started with a daring but blatantly inflammatory manoeuvre by Paulie – a close friend and relative to most of the girls, (though there is some disagreement about whether Paulie's family are a unified body, and whether they all agree with things he does in their name… kids…)
Izzy was loitering in the schoolyard sandbox, lining up his toy soldiers and playing war, as usual
so engrossed was he in the act of lining up soldiers - provocatively, it must be said, in a part of the box where Paulie liked to play - that he failed to notice Paulie sneaking up behind him
and then came the sucker punch from the weak kid, catching the bully off-guard
while Izzy ran his toy tanks up and down the mini-dunes and made "ka-boom" and "peow-peow" sounds, (all the while flicking the odd pebble across the yard and casting furtive glances to see if the head teacher had his back turned, as usual), Paulie crept in from the rear, and pushed Izzy off balance
(it must be said that Izzy is much bigger and stronger than Paulie, so even with the element of surprise this was quite daring)
in the furore that followed, one of Izzy's toy tanks and two of his toy soldiers were trampled in to the sand
more significantly, Paulie managed to snatch one of Izzy's soldiers, unharmed, and retreat to the relative safety of his patch before Izzy could react
the reaction wasn't long in coming, however
Paulie had no sooner made it back to his side of the yard when Izzy's stones began to fall, with little regard for whether it was Paulie or his friends that got hit
many more girls fell, crying
Paulie, meanwhile, issued an ultimatum to Izzy and anyone that cared to listen
"give me back my soldiers and i'll give you back yours... oh, and while you're at it, get the fudge out of MY SANDBOX"
Izzy was in no mood to bargain though, and with stones continuing to fly overhead, he made his way in to Paulie's side of the yard for the first time in several school terms
Izzy stomped all over Paulie's toy soldiers, and one particularly large stone smashed Paulie's swing, the only one in that part of the yard
Paulie's actions now meant his friends had nothing to play on
he held firm in his resolve however – he wanted his toy soldier back at all costs (Izzy is said to have stolen hundreds over the years)
and so, for many days now, both morning and afternoon recesses have been marred with the trampling of toy soldiers and the pitching of stones
but since Izzy and Paulie generally make strategic attacks from the yard’s fringes, it's mostly the girls - innocently playing in the middle of the yard and contested sandbox - that have taken the brunt and suffered the most
dozens are not expected back at school
and Izzy still hasn't got his toy soldier back
* * *
HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
(Ambrose Bierce)
you may wonder where the head teacher is during all this
well, he's there on the yard alright, as always, but his hands are kinda tied
you see, this school is kinda run by the pupils
not by all of them - it's not a democracy, hell no - just by a small few, with rich daddies
the problem is, you see, the school is rotten to the core, and has been for a long time
the head teacher (the current one and all previous ones, since this school system was set up in 1945), is there at the whim of the more powerful, senior students, many of whom have no respect for the head teacher or his rulings
the head boy, for example, doesn't even pay his school fees anymore
he also ignores the system when its rules don't suit
the head teacher can't act on this, because, well, without a semblance of support from the head boy, no one would take him seriously
so the head teacher is in this weird situation – he can’t admit that the head boy is out of control and acting like a prig and essentially running the school, because then the head teacher would officially serve no purpose, and would surely be fired…
…he can’t discipline the head boy, because his family are too powerful, and kinda scary, too…
…without the head boy occasionally and publicly saying to the head teacher, “yes, sir, you’re the boss, i take you seriously”, the head teacher would be so embarrassed he’d be forced in to action that, well, he knows he doesn’t have the power or ability to take…
…so the head teacher smiles nervously on these occasions and says “good, i’m glad you know i’m the boss" – when really he knows the head boy has his balls in a guillotine…
...the head boy lets the head teacher stay in school, mainly so he can say “look, don't ask me, ask the head teacher”
it's a situation that suits the head boy well - he can appear fair and just and like he's towing the school line, when all the while he's free to side with whatever bully that looks like garnering him the most lunch money
and since the head boy gives the best dutch rubs and wedgies in the whole yard, the bullies are just delighted to fall in line
the head teacher, despite the best of intentions then, is actually omnipresent but, good lord, IMPOTENT!?!?!?
what new hell is this?
(by the way, the head boy, has a lot to answer for in this school yard dispute... for it was he and his friends that drew the lines in the sandbox that Izzy and Paulie are fighting over... in fact, it was he and his friends that sponsored Izzy's acceptance at school in the first place, insisting that there was in fact a vacancy in Paulie's class, when clearly there wasn't... it was something to do with their guilt over what happened Izzy's extended family, i think...)
* * *
The history of all times, and of today especially, teaches that women will be forgotten if they forget to think about themselves.
(Louise Otto)
so, where do we stand?
the school yard is a right old mess... there's blood and stones everywhere, and no one seems to be having fun anymore
Izzy is back on Paulie's turf, and it looks like he plans on staying there a while
to make matters worse, another of Izzy’s enemies (and no friend to Paulie either, it must be said, lord, it must be said), has snatched two more of Izzy's toy soldiers, causing a ruckus in an area of the yard that had been quiet since Izzy pulled out some 6 terms ago – but that’s a whole other story…
…shit's getting complicated, dear friends
several things should happen
others likely will
first up, the head teacher should grow a set of balls and start doing his job
he should bring the head boy to task and stop the latter's constant undermining of school authority
the head boy should start acting like one, and lead the way - ethically and morally - by setting a good example for younger students to follow
he should stop supplying Izzy with stones to throw, and stop feigning respectability while gorging himself on the proceeds of stolen lunch money
Paulie, for his part, needs to bite his tongue and remember that it's the girls that suffer most when he riles up Izzy
he might be sore about losing out in the sandbox, but Izzy's bigger and stronger and very few school yard disputes have ever been solved to the satisfaction of the little guy when he uses only his fists
he should try sit down with the head teacher
he should try sort something out
but then, that depends on the head teacher being in a position to act, which in turn depends on the head boy letting him act
which in turn means Paulie will likely continue to resort to his fists
which in turn…
what will likely happen is Izzy will continue to stomp around the sandbox for the next few weeks, indiscriminately cracking girls in the head, crushing Paulie's toy soldiers and losing more than a few of his own
the head teacher won't intervene, but may, if he's feeling brave, ask Izzy to stop and ask Paulie to give him back his toy
and, if past squabbles are anything to go by, Izzy will likely give Paulie back a few hundred of his toy soldiers in exchange for the sandbox-1
and after a few months and a bucket-load of broken toys, he'll slope back to his side of the sandbox, shaking his fist at the whole yard and grumbling that he was right all along, because the head boy said so, sort of
and before you know it, an uneasy quiet will likely return to the schoolyard
Izzy will be back lining up toy soldiers in the mini-dunes, making "ka-boom" and "peow-peow" sounds
Paulie will be in his little part of the yard, grumbling about how small it is compared to how big it was, before Izzy came to school
they'll both flick stones at each other, even though the head teacher is watching
but the swing probably won't get fixed for ages
and lots of girls won't come back to school
No harm's done to history by making it something someone would want to read.
David McCullough
(Louise Otto)
so, where do we stand?
the school yard is a right old mess... there's blood and stones everywhere, and no one seems to be having fun anymore
Izzy is back on Paulie's turf, and it looks like he plans on staying there a while
to make matters worse, another of Izzy’s enemies (and no friend to Paulie either, it must be said, lord, it must be said), has snatched two more of Izzy's toy soldiers, causing a ruckus in an area of the yard that had been quiet since Izzy pulled out some 6 terms ago – but that’s a whole other story…
…shit's getting complicated, dear friends
several things should happen
others likely will
first up, the head teacher should grow a set of balls and start doing his job
he should bring the head boy to task and stop the latter's constant undermining of school authority
the head boy should start acting like one, and lead the way - ethically and morally - by setting a good example for younger students to follow
he should stop supplying Izzy with stones to throw, and stop feigning respectability while gorging himself on the proceeds of stolen lunch money
Paulie, for his part, needs to bite his tongue and remember that it's the girls that suffer most when he riles up Izzy
he might be sore about losing out in the sandbox, but Izzy's bigger and stronger and very few school yard disputes have ever been solved to the satisfaction of the little guy when he uses only his fists
he should try sit down with the head teacher
he should try sort something out
but then, that depends on the head teacher being in a position to act, which in turn depends on the head boy letting him act
which in turn means Paulie will likely continue to resort to his fists
which in turn…
what will likely happen is Izzy will continue to stomp around the sandbox for the next few weeks, indiscriminately cracking girls in the head, crushing Paulie's toy soldiers and losing more than a few of his own
the head teacher won't intervene, but may, if he's feeling brave, ask Izzy to stop and ask Paulie to give him back his toy
and, if past squabbles are anything to go by, Izzy will likely give Paulie back a few hundred of his toy soldiers in exchange for the sandbox-1
and after a few months and a bucket-load of broken toys, he'll slope back to his side of the sandbox, shaking his fist at the whole yard and grumbling that he was right all along, because the head boy said so, sort of
and before you know it, an uneasy quiet will likely return to the schoolyard
Izzy will be back lining up toy soldiers in the mini-dunes, making "ka-boom" and "peow-peow" sounds
Paulie will be in his little part of the yard, grumbling about how small it is compared to how big it was, before Izzy came to school
they'll both flick stones at each other, even though the head teacher is watching
but the swing probably won't get fixed for ages
and lots of girls won't come back to school
No harm's done to history by making it something someone would want to read.
David McCullough
posted by Tony at 9:37 a.m.
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